I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
