what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
