is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
