No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
