Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
