I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
