But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
