I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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