dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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