I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
