I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
