Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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