Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
