ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize