what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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