Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yo dont text me then not text me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Randomize
