I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
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she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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