is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
