if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
