capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
