Apparently you make a good broom.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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