oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
