I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize