I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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