There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize