Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
