Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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