You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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