Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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