i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
