Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
