I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
splinters make it hard to masturbate
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
