I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
