They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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