i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im holly from the hills drunk
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
