I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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