are you still at the devil's house?
I love black thongs
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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