yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
