we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize