They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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