Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
