it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
