Don't you send me to vm
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
