just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The power of my boobs compel you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
