I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
