I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
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im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize