Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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