I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
