Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
