ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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