He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
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We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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