dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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