I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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