Please, let me fuck your mom
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
