Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
