you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
