If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
