ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
