babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
