Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
