Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
from now on my penis is your penis
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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