DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think i have herpe
just one?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
