I CAN MOONWALK!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
