shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
