The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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