im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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