hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
